Connection, the Antidote to Eating Disorder Recovery

Blog entry

Published on 8 March 2026

By Hannah, mid-20s, anorexia nervosa, recovered

When I reflect on my eating disorder journey, I think a huge part of why it appealed to me so much is because I wanted to be accepted by others. I had always felt like an outsider, but with all the messages in society about ideal body types and being slim, I began to internalise the fact that if I made myself smaller, I would be more loved. If I could be more disciplined, push myself to limits others couldn’t and create a body loved by others, I’d be accepted in a world I never felt like I belonged.

Initially, I was right. I started to lose weight and people noticed. They commented positively on how I looked and I started to gain attention from boys. But, like with most things in my life, I didn’t know where to stop. What started as something that received positive feedback, quickly became something that engulfed my life. The friends I had started to make suddenly felt intimidating. The attention I got felt threatening. I didn’t want anyone to get in the way of my weight loss, and that meant avoiding social situations, losing trust in others, and pushing away the people who loved me the most.

When things got to their worst, I can safely say that was the most lonely and isolated I had ever felt. I no longer trusted anyone, but I couldn’t help but lean further into the eating disorder behaviours as they were the only thing that felt safe. Maybe, if I kept pushing, I would feel less alone. Unfortunately, I was wrong. But fortunately, this is where recovery really began to take shape.

I hit rock bottom. I didn’t see my friends, I felt out of love with my partner, I didn’t want to spend time with my family. I suddenly realised my life had become so tiny, that all that was left was me and the eating disorder, and I didn’t want that anymore. I craved connection, laughter, love, moments of joy with other people. I didn’t want to hide in my home anymore, I wanted to have memories and things to look forward to. So, slowly but surely I started to reach out to people. I messaged friends I hadn’t spoken to for a while, I created moments of connection with my partner, I went home to spend time with my family. It was terrifying, but the more I did it, the more I realised I wanted it.

Ultimately, none of this involved food. But naturally, as time went on, I was invited to friends' houses for food, my partner asked me to go out for dinner, and my mum wanted to share cake with me when we were out. Initially this felt terrifying, but as I took tiny baby steps to try new things, it became easier. What felt like the world was going to end started to feel enjoyable and I realised all of these moments weren’t about the food, but they were about the connection. They were about being present, not worrying about calories or being consumed by numbers, not worrying about what ingredients had been put into things and instead enjoying chatting to my friends, laughing and living in the moment.

Community has played an essential role in my recovery, and has been one of the biggest motivating factors for me getting better. People often say you have to want to recover for yourself, but I couldn’t find that desire when I was ill. I started recovery for others, and slowly but surely as I started to enjoy life again, that’s when I shifted and started to do it for myself. And honestly, it’s the best thing that I have ever done.